Sneaking in through the back door...

So - "A"s visit today actually went quite well. I could look at him and be separate - not feel any hurt, or anger, or sorrow. I could see him as simply 'Jaden's dad', and could be thankful that he was there, making the effort to know his son. I felt at peace, and I know that the prayers of friends, and the goodness of God, are to thank.

He stayed for a little over an hour. I filled him in on Jaden - what he was like, how things were going, etc. I could tell by the look on 'A's face that he felt something for Jaden. I hope it is love. 'A' at least seemed to enjoy spending time with him, and asked me to let him know when he could come again.

I felt really good about it. And I think the enemy knew that would happen. He knew he couldn't get to me that way. So he tried to sneak in another way -
'A' gave me a check in an envelope before he left. He said it was what he had calculated (using state website) child support to be for the months of February and March. He has recently changed jobs - I don't know what he is doing now. What I do know is that when I opened the envelope (after he left) the check was for significantly less than what the lawyer and I had estimated (based on the income from his previous job). And I started to become very angry. Just like satan wanted me to. II almost forgot to be thankful for how well the visit went.

Thank goodness for the calmness of others, and the leadings of the Spirit. I felt like I could hear the Lord telling me to chill out and be thankful - so I let it go.

Thank you for your prayers :) I know they made all the difference today.