Jaden
Has been asleep for almost 4 hours in his swing!!!
Yep, that's the extent of the excitement in my life :) at this moment - I am just amazed! Though, he didn't sleep all that well last night (I think because he had to poop).
'a' was supposed to see him yesterday, but cancelled last minute - had to work. So, he probably won't see him for at least another couple weeks. I can't imagine going that long without wanting to see your own baby - but, I think I've set my hopes too high in terms of father/son relationship. And, I would have to think that it is difficult for 'a' to see him (and me), even though I think he wants to see Jaden, because of the circumstances that he ('a') created by leaving me, divorcing me, marrying her, etc. And, let's face it, 'a' is a higher priority to 'a' than Jaden is - and it will likely always be that way.
Jaden is waking up - I'll bet he is starving :) He is sticking out his tongue & making all sorts of funny faces :)
posted by DebP @ 1:00 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
The journey to forgiveness is so difficult, isn't it? It's one thing to forgive for something that has been done to you; it's even more challenging to forgive what someone is doing to (or not doing for) your child.
Having walked a similar path, I can say that you're wise to assume there are many factors contributing to "a"'s lack of involvement. It could be selfishness, work schedule, awkwardness, inadequacy, guilt, apathy...or any combination of those factors.
Many, many times when I've felt completely inadequate as a single mom, God has brought someone into my life to help me refocus on my part. A good friend said "You need to focus on your health because you are all your son has." Or "All you can do is make sure that you, the involved parent, provide a soft place for your son to land." Or, (spoken by a traditional Baptist minister trying to lend me support-God bless him!) "You have to find the strength to be both mom and dad to this young man. And God wouldn't have allowed this situation if He didn't have faith in you." It took me awhile to really believe this one...
In my opinion, the more you focus on what Jaden doesn't have, the harder it will be for both of you. The more you focus on what you have together (the only thing really in your control), the more likely you will eventually get to the point of saying, "It was a terrible situation from which God brought blessings."
God works all things together for good...I mean look at the beautiful noise-making, sometimes silly-faced treasure that came from a marriage that didn't go the distance...He's the best gift ever, right? :)
My prayers are with you.
He is the best gift ever :) & I really appreciate the advice & encouragment. You are right - I need to focus on what I can control & on my beautiful blessing. I really do have a beautiful life right now.
thank you ttm
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